Take That
Having lived so many years in towns without local television programming and without the cable, I have become inordinately infatuated with the local news programming in Cincinnati. Their coverage is notoriously misleading and inflammatory. Of the recent cottony snowfall: WHITE DEATH STRIKES THE TRISTATE. I love it when they pick up the national stories and misconstrue them. Why might Cincinnati appeal to the average terrorist in wait? THE SEVEN BRIDGES OF DOOM. And so when the local news made the recent ABC '20/20' news program, "Where are American manners? Are we creating a culture where rudeness rules?" the focus of their own evening reporting, I decided to watch. Are residents of Porkopolis becoming more rude? The Channel Nine Eye-Team says, yes. The evidence: cursing overheard in restaurants where children are present. And that's when I decided to listen. I've just moved here, after all, and it is also true that I am as likely to say 'fuck' as 'hello.' Could I be a part of the problem? Am I creating a culture of rudeness? I decided to do a little investigating of my own.
Here are the first six bullets in a list of twenty-nine Basic Rules for Basic Cincinnati Table Manners:
• It is inappropriate to ask for a doggy bag when you are a guest.
• It is best to order foods that can be eaten with a knife and fork. Finger foods can be messy and are best left for informal dining.
• Do not order alcoholic beverages. Drinking too much when dining out is one of the most disliked behaviors.
• Do not smoke while dining out.
• Sit up straight at the table. It makes a good impression.
• When you are not eating, keep your hands on your lap or resting on the table (with wrists on the edge of the table). Elbows on the table are acceptable only between courses, not while you are eating.
• Do not season your food before you have tasted it.
Though I have never asked a doggy bag of a host, my guilt is otherwise complete. My behavior has been disliked most. I have made a bad impression with my spine. But are these definitive signs that I am rude? If you, like me, are looking for the kind of proof that can only come from national news organizations, you might find your savior in this ABC rudeness test. The results are instant, though (I warn you) the test itself is not entirely painless.
posted by SAS @ Tuesday, February 07, 2006
2 Comments:
is every state part of some kind of tri-state area? my brother works for fox 12 here in portland. in oregon (part of the pacific northwest, a tri-state area composed of wahsington, oregon and idaho) all of our fear-mongering news focuses on methamphetamine. apparently, on the streets they call it meth. on the streets, i mean.
his job is to update the daily meth watch feature. i like to view it and feel unsafe. when the news ends, i pull the covers over my head and wonder if the front door is unlocked, even though i checked it again and again during the commercial breaks.
You can buy the whole series on the station's website. The ad says:
It's addictive, destructive, and expensive. Police call it the most dangerous drug in the Northwest because it is fueling crime, destroying families, and taking money from your wallet.
i'm not sure if this copy refers to the drug or the videotape.
My personal favorite is the cell phone conversation at the dinner table.
I recently overheard a woman at a restaurant berating her boyfriend for skipping out that morning before she woke up because she had planned to take the home pregnancy test that morning.
On her cell phone. At the table.
Big glass of bourbon in front of her.
In front of me too, but I'm not worried about pregnancy.
I'm just saying,
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